Hey guys!

I wan’t really feeling the posting today…but I’m keeping it real here on the ol’ blog. In terms of the project, things are a little hot and cold. 

Last night, I ended up making homemade chocolate-it was really good! Super rich, super dark, not that sweet. It was simply coconut oil, maple syrup, and cocoa powder. 

Last night was spend studying and hanging out with friends. And maybe singing to ’90s music at 1am. 

This morning I woke up and stabbed myself for the sake of science. 

I read the directions (yay) and successfully took my blood sugar! It was lower than last March, but still on the high side of healthy, so there should be some improvements, hopefully! My roommate’s blood sugar was on the lower end of healthy, so it’s unlikely she’ll see much of a drop. 

For breakfast, I tested out my pre-race breakfast.

Banana and egg oatmeal! This was a little different than how I normally make it-I used extra thick rolled oats instead of instant (so I soaked them overnight), and a whole egg instead of egg whites. Plus, I normally make this with almond milk, but that’s not technically allowed, and i don’t really want dairy before a hard run, so I just used water.

Remember how I was craving bananas so much?

I’m SO. SICK. OF. THEM. Banana overload!

Plus a kiwi.

For this morning’s workout, I wanted to do a pace run. I went to the track and did 2 miles at race pace. And it was doable! Let’s just hope I can push out another mile at that pace!

Plus the course isn’t exactly totally flat…and it’s never exactly 3.1…but I still have a week to get faster and stronger, right??

I followed the run with some weights-back lunges, single leg RDLs, and abs. 

And then-lunchtime!

Salad with oil and vinegar, mixed grain salad, and a garden burger with cheese cubes. Not totally sure on these ingredients, but I felt good after so we’ll go with it! Plus nonfat plain Greek yogurt with pineapple. Ignore the strawberry mess-I was hoping it would be without any added sugar, but a small taste immediately told me otherwise!

Later in the day is where things started to break down. I felt SO great. I kept thinking how I barely notice feeling great anymore because it’s my new normal! But then I was hungry. So I had a snack. 

Yesterday I talked about “fake” desserts-which for the record I should especially avoid because my stomach was not a big fan of all the coconut flour. Today, I’m talking about “real” desserts that don’t seem real. It’s science people! (kidding-that probably makes no sense.)

Over the last couple of days, I’ve had a decent amount of sugar. But it’s “natural” sugar, so totally doesn’t count, right? But here’s the crazy thing. In your body, sugar is basically just sugar. And if you’re sensitive to sugar anyway, and then you try to avoid it, you’re likely going to react to natural sugars as well. 

I’ve had a few too many dates and dried mangoes lately…and I feel it. And I react no differently than regular sugar. 

I feel sick. I can’t focus. I’m anxious. I want more sweet stuff. 

So I caved. It happened. I’m being honest with you guys. But I’m also learning from it. 

How did I feel? Gross. Sick. Panicky (this is probably not a normal reaction to sugar but it always makes me crazy). 

But what did I do about it? 

I learned from my mistake. 

1. Sugar tastes good. Desserts are great. But I’ve never been one of those people that handles sugar well, and I honestly should try to keep it out of my life. For me, the worst effect is mental. To be clear-the problem is NOT that I beat myself up over it, but I’ve always had bad reactions. My heart races, I get really hot, my hormones go crazy. Those physical responses lead to anxiety, lack of focus, feelings of panic. Which makes sense-those physical symptoms evolutionarily would indicate a reason for panic (like seeing a tiger).

2. Sugar is sugar. Sugar makes me crave sugar. Dried fruits (especially dates) are still sugar. And I need to be more careful.

3. I can’t wallow in self pity. Feeling bad about not being able to eat things is a recipe for failure-I need to focus on the delicious things I’m CHOOSING to eat (not just that I CAN eat).

4. I may need to take a step back. From the Internet world. Just for a little while-I love looking at pictures of froyo and chocolate and muffins, but if I’m going to finish this thing, I need to limit my exposure. But I have midterms anyways so there’s that distraction…

Oh, and here’s dinner:

Bottom line: I really want to finish this strong. The changes I’m seeing and feeling are amazing. My confidence is higher than I can even remember. And I’ll do whatever I need to do to finish this out. Depending on what’s happening 3 weeks from now, I may go an extra week to really do a full month. But given the changes I felt in a week, we’ll see. 

Another thing I’m recognizing: just HOW MANY occasions come up that I would have grabbed a sweet at. Multiple cookie parties, giant cookies at late night, waffles and muffins for brunch. I now understand exactly where the Freshman 15 comes from! 

So-yes. I slipped up. But I’m not going to sit here and complain about it, because it’s an opportunity to learn. 

To be quite frank, the thing that worries me the most is life post-Project. After the difference in how I felt this morning vs. after sugar, I don’t know how I can possibly function in a life with sugar. Yes, I have the biggest sweet tooth, but I also have a really bad reaction to it. I don’t know how I can go through life functioning and feeling good with it. I feel like a lot of the stress I felt last year was a result of overconsumption of sugar. It’s crazy how things work, isn’t it?? I wish I understood WHY I’m so sensitive!

But-tomorrow is another day! Please don’t take this post as me complaining and feeling bad about eating sugar. I’m only posting because I want to be honest with you guys, and I do think it’s an important learning experience. And remember-the things my body responds to are completely different for a lot of other people! Some people can have a moderate amount of sugar everyday and it works for them-if this is the case for you, but all means go for it! These are just my experiences.

I think I’ve asked this before, but: any ideas on how to be get magically fast in a week??