Ripped Hands That One Time

Date: April 14, 2016

Author: astottler

Oh my gosh guys. My life is insane right now. I don’t know which way is up. I don’t even remember the last time I blogged. I wanted to blog Easter, and that still hasn’t happened!

This quarter is insane. I spend half the time feeling like I’m in way over my head, which makes me angry because I’m supposed to be enjoying my last spring! And I spend the other half of the time (ok, maybe more like 25%) thinking, ok, I’ve totally got this, I can manage my time. Seeing as I’m currently blogging, I’m sitting in that 25% right now, after just about finishing my take home test due Monday. This is my schedule: GRE Saturday, take home test due Monday, essay due Monday, Biochem test Monday, normal reading due Monday. ARGH. The awful thing is that unfortunately this is definitely not my only Monday with those 4 things! This quarter is going to be the death of me. But right now I’m managing. And by right now, I mean in this exact moment.

Another current bane of my existence is that my university shut off my Wifi last week, and I had to go through a 10 hour encryption process to get it back. And TBH, it’s not worth doing that on my phone, so I’m currently not on Wifi on my phone, which means photos don’t transfer to iCloud very well. Blerch.

So Thursday. I had a super awesome Crossfit workout that morning. I was able to do kipping pull ups for real, no band, stringing them together (ok, in 3’s) during the WOD, which is a huge first for me. Then we did 100 weighted hanging knee raises. Then I decided to do one more extra pull-up, just for fun. And on that one bonus pull up, I tore the #@%$#$ out of my hand. I’ve never exactly understand hand tearing before—I’ve gotten blisters, etc. but in this case, my callus tore off my viable skin. Yuck. I had to wrap my hand to be functional in life.

But pull-ups, am I right??

Here are some Thursday meals.

Mushroom garlic soup with GF grilled cheese for lunch.

A really weird taco, essentially filled with lettuce, tomatoes, and hominy. But it had avocado, so of course it was great. Side note: I really love hominy! For those unfamiliar with it, it’s corn that is sort of soaked/sprouted.

Thursday night, I made the questionable decision of going to Senior Night. Questionable because #sleep.

We ended up taking an Uber because the bus line was insane. It was a super fun night, but I didn’t make it to bed until 3ish.

I got up earlier than necessary Friday morning to run. While that may seem like a questionable decision, 1. it wakes me up and 2. I woke up before my alarm anyway because I can’t sleep in. Whoopee. Friday night I had sorority recruitment until 1am, and 5 hours of classes leading up to it. The prospect was daunting. Friday morning was turning out to not be my morning at all either. First, after my run, I managed to lock my car keys in my trunk. I didn’t think that was possible. Then, on the way to class, I totally wiped out on my bike. My hand was still wrapped up and beat up from pull ups, so I couldn’t grip my handle bars well with that hand. It was raining, and my good hand slipped off my handlebars. There was no way to go but now. I landed on my hands and knees, drenching myself, but reasonably unscathed. Then I got to be the hot mess showing up to section applying all kinds of bandaids, with a big wet spot on my leg.

My mom sent me these pictures after I complained, haha!

Luckily, before my last class I was able to sneak in a little baby nap. I had to leave pretty early for class because the hand I landed on (i.e. my formerly good hand) was bruised and scraped up, and my wrist was a bit sore, so I had to walk to class because I couldn’t hold the handle bars. I never walk, so this was kind of a big deal!

After 8 long hours of sorority recruitment, I ended up staying up until 4ish talking and joking with my friends. I think we were all a little slap happy. But man, that knocked me out.

Saturday, I spent the morning resting up, and then tested out my new Crossfit shoes. I’m trying the Nikes, and so far I like them a lot! Although I do worry I have 1/2 a size too big.

I lifted on my own, to the best of my torn hand’s ability. I did back squats, deadlifts (though my hand wouldn’t let me go as heavy as I hoped), single leg deadlifts, calf raises, and weighted planks.

Then, I headed home to get my Senior Formal dress (!!!) altered. And to eat.

Basic wrap: corn tortilla with grilled chicken, cheese, and pilothouse farms caesar (I’m officially a fan of Bolthouse farms). Plus a side salad.

I stayed home for several hours to bust out a cover letter that had been hanging over my head.

Sunday was spent catching up on work and going to a spin class.

On Monday, this dinner was noteworthy. The soup of the week was a spinach and goat cheese, and I was a huge fan! It reminded me a bit of the Greek spinach and cheese pastries, Spanakopita. The recipe calls for 24 cups of spinach! And makes about 4-8 servings of soup…

We added some chicken for a little staying power. I really liked this one; it’s crazy how versatile soup can be!

Also noteworthy: these. Blueberry and fig. YUM.

Monday was also my puppy’s first birthday! So here’s a little throwback.

Tuesday morning after Crossfit, I had breakfast with a view.

For one of my classes this quarter, I’m observing squirrels 2 hours every week, and this is my location of choice, so I packed some yogurt to enjoy while watching the wildlife.

One of my subjects.

This was a delicious lunch. Chicken salad with grapes and sunflower seeds, roasted root veggies, and sautéed mushrooms.

Tuesday night, I made it out to another baseball game. Despite my crazy schedule, I’m so glad I did. I think my biggest regret at Stanford is not going to more baseball games.

I packed a wrap for dinner, so dinner was with a view as well.

It was a good game; we CRUSHED SJ State.

And that brings us to todayish. The only few noteworthy things I can think of:

Apparently my new Crossfit shoes are magic because I can now string together double unders. I usually do double-single-double-single, and only got like 3 doubles straight through ever. In the workout I busted out the full set of 21. What?? Where did that come from??
I was super inspired for this week’s spin class. Lots of new music, and requests from my students! Sadly, everyone who requested something was not there to enjoy it, but I think everyone who was there had a good time!
I got a rabies vaccine today. #prevetproblems Just to be clear, it’s preventative, not because I’ve been exposed! Also, the process took a while, and I was waiting by myself for about 15 minutes with a detailed handout about potential side effects. And I’m sort of a hypochondriac so that was fun. So far, so good though!
I have a wild Friday night planned. Biochem studying. Maybe I’ll get a little wild and throw in some GRE vocab.
I got a pineapple. In my fruit and cheese of the month box! Pretty sure I’ll need to bring it home to cut because it’s going to laugh at my silly dorm knives.
And now I think it’s time for bed. WHEW. Let the craziness continue! (Except please don’t. Ugh.)

What is your favorite fruit?

I’m currently pretty excited that it’s mango season!

What Happened?

Date: February 4, 2016

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

I promise this post is not nearly as deep as the title implies.

I go through phases with blogging. Sometimes I’m not feeling it, because I’m too busy with life. Other times, I feel like such a bad blogger! I expect in the next year or so blogging may pick up a bit more because I will be going through some significant life changes (i.e. graduating). I sometimes feel that I don’t have that much to say, or contribute, but at the same time I miss the typical daily posts. I feel like there are fewer and fewer of those around these days. Maybe everyone is feeling the same way, but to be quite honest, those are my favorite to read!

In the theme of being a bad blogger, I seem to have lost my special blogging talent: the picture taking reflex. In the past, I would whip out my phone and snag a picture before anyone knew what had happened (myself included). I came to write this post today, and realized that the only picture I had was of breakfast. The same breakfast as yesterday.

I <3 this breakfast. It takes me back to sophomore year when I first started eating this, but it’s been a while! Yes, I’m at that point of my college career where I get nostalgia from something as basic as breakfast.

That being said, sophomore year was ROUGH. This came up on my timehop this morning. So, so real.

Today I had a Cosmology midterm, which I think (hope) went pretty well. Naturally I celebrated by raiding the fridge and watching an episode of Monk. I seriously love that show, and it somehow feels comforting to watch it again all these years later. In the fridge, I found a GF grilled cheese with my name on it (literally written on it), so I heated up half of that, and had a few dates and an orange. I’m really trying to incorporate more produce into my life as my stomach feels better.

In terms of workouts, I went to Crossfit this morning. We did mostly upper body things—max pull ups in 2 minutes, max hand release push ups in 2 min, max toes to bar in 2 minutes, and max burpees in 2 minutes. That was followed by some rowing repeats. Rowing is still my jam, and I can still claim that after hundreds of hours on an erg freshman year.

Before dinner, I went for a 3 mile run. My legs were a bit heavy but I hit my goal pace fairly easily, which is a good sign for my 5k on Sunday! That being said, I think my body is ready for some low key days leading up to Sunday!

Since this post was lacking in pictures, I do have some things to share that I’ve actually bothered to photograph (but haven’t bothered to post).

I’m currently in love with tortilla pizzas.

Mexican chicken, beans, and avocado over lettuce with a tortilla on the side.

The pup was spayed this week. She’s had a rough time so far, but seems to be feeling a little better! Although I haven’t seen her yet, I am getting regular updates!

This was the gluten free vanilla blueberry cake from our dinner on Friday. Lots of this was consumed over the weekend.

That’s all for now—back to work!

Day in the Life Winter 2016

Date: January 27, 2016

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

Hello! As promised, I’m popping in for another day in the life! So here we go!

6:33: Get out of bed. I woke up about 15 minutes earlier, and am getting up an hour before my alarm thanks to an early bedtime!

Record the night in my sleep journal, which I have to keep as homework for my Sleep and Dreams class. It was a good night’s sleep!

Then it’s time to get ready for my morning workout. In this process, I accidentally started updating the software on my phone which took foreverr and was super frustrating while I was trying to take pictures of everything. GRR. Some photos had to be taken retroactively.

Daily vitamins: probiotics plus a gummy multivitamin. I know they’re mens, but the differences are not significant and when I couldn’t find my normal brand I went with what looked most delicious.

Next, I head downstairs for a pre workout snack and realize I have a friend.

Was not expected that! He has quite a presence in the corner there. We’re having a Star Wars themed dinner in my house on Friday, which I’m assuming is why he’s there!

I go in search of the gluten free crackers.

I usually do about 2/3 of a serving pre-run, and there were only about 5 crackers left so I supplement with another 5 from a bag in my room.

7:15: Check weather and bundle up (although not enough because #CAgirl).

7:30: Get going on my track workout!

I start with a one lap warm up and then stretch. I’m less than 2 weeks from race day, so I’m honing in the paces a little more. I planned to do 3x800m at 8:00 pace with a 3 minute rest in between because my track workouts have been around that distance lately, but then I realized that was silly because on Sunday I ran 1.5 miles at that pace with no rest, so I upped it to 4x800m plus a 400m sprint at the end. I’m happy to report that I felt good and solidly hit my paces!

I made it halfway through the workout before caving in to the gloves. #CAproblems

I finished around 8 am.

8:15: Back at the house, it’s breakfast time! The yogurt in the house right now is full fat plain Greek. I topped about half a cup of that with a peeled persimmon and sun butter. I spent some time trying to arrange it to not look like something the cat threw up, and I assure you it looks much better in the picture than in person.

While eating, I scroll through my Timehop and find this post.

1 year ago today was my first flare up, which means I’ve been dealing with this illness for a year now. I’m definitely doing better, but I had no idea what a rough road I had ahead of me at that point!

On a happier note, here’s a time hop of baby freshman Aurora.

After breakfast, I pack up my food for the day. I’m out of the house all afternoon and through lunch.

Then I shower and get ready for the day. I have a piece of this gum along the way! So good. I ordered like 12 of these off of Amazon.

It’s about 9:30 now and I don’t have class until 11:30. I spend this time finishing up my spin class—I didn’t choreograph the last hill—and doing some Psych reading.

Along the way, my stomach starts to feel a little funny so I have a few crackers hoping that it’s not in the process of flaring up.

11:15: Leave for class. I bike, but it’s clear across campus.

I love this shirt but it kind of makes me crazy to look at…

11:30: Animal Enrichment Lecture. This is an awesome class. Senior pre-vets have the option to do it, and we meet once a week for lecture and once a week for hands on time with the animals. Last week, we got to hang out with pigs! Today in lecture we talked about pigs—various breeds, behaviors, and how to handle them.

12:45: Lunchtime! Class ran a little bit late today. I have leftovers for lunch. Sweet potato chicken soup and a cornbread with a drizzle of honey.

Right before lunch my stomach started feeling a little funny and while I hoped it was just because it was empty, I suspected it might be more than that. After lunch I took my first stomach med of the day in hopes of staving off the issues a little bit. I love these new tums—they’re chews and are pretty tasty! Despite my concerns, I powered through my meal because I needed the calories for my spin class that night.

1:15: Leave for my 1:30 class.

My 1:30 is Sleep and Dreams, and today we talked about Lucid Dreaming (being aware that you are dreaming). It’s pretty cool how they proved it! The lucid dreamer was able to give eye movement signals from within a dream.

2:20: Break between classes. I was supposed to eat my pear at this point to meet my morning calorie goal, but it was clearly not happening. My stomach started getting angrier.

I spent more time doing Psych reading. The reading is on Depression.

2:45: Pop a single pepto to try and quiet my stomach enough to eat my afternoon snack because I HAVE to get at least those calories in before teaching spin that evening. Hate my body a little bit. I do develop a theory about what caused the problems today though. I had a persimmon this morning, and can link flare ups to two other instances where I ate a persimmon. This was a late variety persimmon, and both other instances were this same type, so maybe it’s this particular type that is an issue, and the other ones I had earlier in the season were ok? I can’t actually think of any cases where I had this type of persimmon without a flare up. So I suppose persimmon season will be prematurely ending for me :/

3:00 Sex and Gender in Physiology. Today we’re talking about hormones.

Thankfully, I’m starting to feel better and have a Luna bar in class. I have to be pretty precise with the timing so that I’m neither full nor starving by 5:30.

Dealing with my stomach is such a freaking process.

4:30: Arrive at my dorm. I ordered more stomach meds on Amazon and am pretty pumped that they’ve arrived because I’m out of the orange flavor and am getting a bit tired of berry. I think I just need to accept that these are my life right now.

I’m feeling a lot less like death than earlier, but still a bit rough and since I’m teaching spin, I take a full dose of pepto and of my new Tums. I really try to avoid taking these when I can, but Spin can be rough so it’s worth going all out. Thanks to my stomach, spin teaching days are especially stressful because I HAVE to be feeling good come 5:30.

4:30-5 Get ready for spin. The stomach meds are working. They are amazing. They are a lifesaver. My stomach returns to its normal size and I get pretty hungry. Uh oh. Nothing to do now though—my stomach is definitely not happy enough to eat right before class.

5:10: Bike over to class.

Again, bundled up. I was freezing all day, so 2 jackets it is.

5:30: Teach spin! Last night I was inspired to choreograph an epic, disgustingly heavy hill, and my class just nailed it. It was awesome! Even better? My stomach 100% behaved itself. I thought I might have problems from being too hungry, but it behaved! Yippee!

6:30: Dinnertime! On the menu is turkey with olive tapenade, and rosemary roasted potatoes (with ketchup of course). I had some greens on the side with light champagne vinaigrette, which I bought myself because I’m sick of the sugary dressings we have! I also grab some greens for second dinner later on, and for lunch tomorrow since I’m packing again.

This much meat is probably not wise, but I’m starving and don’t have too many other things on my plate.

For dessert, I have a few chocolate covered gluten free pretzels.

I also grab part 2 of lunch tomorrow to claim for myself: gluten free pizza, AKA pizza made on a tortilla! There’s only one without sausage, so I don’t want it to get eaten up!

7:15: Start typing up this post while trying to decide if my stomach is going to rebel again or if the flare up actually seems over.

7:45-8:15: Work on more Abnormal Psych reading. Decide my stomach is happy enough for second dinner.

This absolutely hit the spot. Gluten free bread, spinach, egg, and a sprinkle of mozzarella. Egg cooked in the microwave because I don’t need anything fancy! I also had a couple of bites of potato and half of a kettle corn rice cake for “dessert.” I’m trying to work more real foods (plus veggies and protein) into my late night meal, so this was perfect.

I spent the next 30 or so minutes doing more reading and then headed to a women’s health event downstairs where I had a couple of pieces of chocolate.

Now, it’s approximately 10pm. On the agenda is the rest of my reading. It’s definitely not imperative that I finish tonight because I have plenty of time tomorrow morning before class, so I’m going to pack it up around 11 and get ready for bed then most likely!

That’s my day! I guess it turned into a “day in the life with stomach ailments” but hopefully that gives you some insight into my day to day happenings!

What does your day look like?

Coming Full Circle

Date: October 23, 2015

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

This weekend is bittersweet for me. It’s Homecoming weekend, which means campus is flooded with alums. But this year is different for me. In a year, I’ll be one of them.

For many years, I’ve had my list of top fears well-defined.

Puke
Drowning
Scorpions
Hair

My roommate even knows the pitch of my squeal when I see a ball of hair on the floor. Those were my fears. Now, I’m coming to terms with a new fear-the passage of time. I fear the passage of time-or more specifically, wasted time. Seeing alums wheeling into their 50th reunion makes age more solidified for me-that’s me one day. Many of these alums seem so happy-they show up carting around children and spouses, pointing out their old stomping stomping grounds. Will I have that one day? Right now the future is just an empty space for me-I have plans but I have no idea what my life will really be like. Will I be happy? I feel so happy here right now. I feel like Stanford is truly the best place to be. What will the future hold?

More than the passage of time, I fear the loss of friends. Of stories and memories fading away as the clock ticks onwards. We relive the past through our stories. We relive happiness, excitement, fear. I love telling stories, and I love recalling memories. Stories are a snapshot of a particular time; they are our time capsules to the past, and they keep us connected to who we are and who we were. Even more than telling stories, I love making stories. Having adventures that I can talk and laugh about years from now. Sometimes I worry that I’m too caught up in the past, but in reality, this is my way of staying connected and grounded as things change. In one year, my life is going to be completely different than it’s ever been. Saying goodbye before college was hard, but I think saying goodbye after college is worse. It’s not that I’m not excited for what the future has in store, but in high school, I feel like I was constantly biding my time for high school. Now, I’m realizing I can’t keep just trying to push through until I’ve accomplished my career goals to live. Time passes. If I fast forward my life to post-grad school, then all I do is lose years. I have to live NOW because there’s always going to be a next thing to look toward, and I can’t keep waiting until the next thing because before I know it I’ll be rolling up to my 50th reunion and wondering where the years have gone.

I’m doing my best to enjoy my last year here to the utmost degree. At the same time, I feel like everything is coming full circle. Things, people, and feelings from freshman year keep popping up. As a freshman, I never once thought the whole college thing would end. I was just getting started! 4 years was forever. Yet here I am.

(Santa Run 2012-what a baby! I wish I had taken more pictures then…)

Looking back on it, I could not have asked for more out of my freshman year. At the time it was difficult-sleep deprivation, intense academics, D1 college sport, making new friends, mono. I came in with such an eagerness to be there that I feel like faded as I got beaten down. But out of freshman year, I got countless memories and lifelong friends. As I said, it was hard at the time but looking back, it was exactly what I needed.

Sophomore year was very rough. I learned the hard way what it meant to be doing a difficult major at one of the top science schools in the country. I did not like it here then. I was drowning. I seriously contemplated whether I should transfer. I was lost-I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t know if I was in the right place. But as I’ve always said, the best part about Stanford is the people, and my friends carried me through.

Despite the difficult academics, I did make some awesome memories that I will carry with me. I also felt more grounded than freshman year. I had a solid group of friends so I didn’t have the constant pressure of trying to make friends that comes with freshman year.

Junior year was good-a solid year but somewhat lonely as a lot of people I knew went abroad. I spent more time alone, but I think I found myself a little more, especially with figuring out my life. Far fewer quarter-life crises.

Halloween 2014 was possibly one of the best days of my life.

And now. Senior year. I feel like there’s so much left to do, and I have the eagerness of a freshman. I can’t wait to make more memories with these amazing people.

TOL-When 200m Runs Are Homework

Date: October 7, 2015

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

Alternatively titled, “When 200m Runs Feel Like Death.”

After yesterday’s WIAW fun, I thought I’d continue the link-up trend another day for a new to me link up-Thinking Out Loud. This is basically a chance to share random thoughts in a way we can pretend is organized. Yay!

So here we go-shall we?

The title of this post. For my exercise physiology class, we have to chose an exercise (from a list), do a timed trial, then design a training plan to improve by the end of the quarter. I chose the 400m run-so glad I didn’t choose the mile because the 400m is over so much more quickly! Plus training. Anyways-I did my timed trial yesterday. I ran 9 miles and taught a spin class on Monday, but I’m pretty sure that my legs were aching Tuesday night from that little 400m. It’s amazing how much different sprinting is! I did my first training workout this morning. I expected it to be practically nothing-I was only running a mile!-but it knocked me the heck out. Whew. I did a 400m warm up followed by 6 200m all out sprints with recovery in between. My legs still hurt. I think I should see some improvement!
Since I wasn’t doing a long sweaty workout, I slept in a bit and went straight from the track to class. Zero to presentable in 10 minutes flat.
Lemon Luna bars taste like summer to me. I haven’t had them in a while!
Fun fact-exercise increases the size of your heart, but different exercises do this differently. Resistance training increases the thickness of your heart, while endurance training increases the volume.
When I look at old pictures of myself, I always think my hair looked so much better. Not that my hair is bad, but I feel like it used to be fuller/thicker/straighter. I’m trying to stop sleeping with my hair up in hopes that this will change.
I’m at that point of half marathon training where things tend to be a grind, phantom pains pop up, and everything aches. At my softball game, I felt so slow, old, and creaky. Granted, this was after 9 miles+a spin class, but still, I think it’s time I gave my body a little more respect. Especially with my intense 1 mile workout this morning, I’m realizing I need to be putting fewer footsteps into my fitness going forward. I’m sure this won’t be my last half marathon (knocking on wood of course), and I’ll definitely still keep running because I like how it makes me feel, but I need to be more efficient with my footsteps, and with high impact exercise in general. I’m also limiting myself to 3 weight lifting sessions a week (including Crossfit) because while that may not be a lot of footsteps, it can be a lot on the joints, and I had various things pop up over the summer from lifting so heavy. Plus, I need to be kind to my healing shoulder!
I’m one of those people who dwells on the past, and now more than every that I’m a senior! As I do things for the last time, it’s like deja vu. I also miss being a freshman! Honestly I think I view that time now as far better than I did at the time, but I miss a lot of aspects about it, like rowing, the freshman dorm community, freshman experiences, and that freshman eagerness. Then vs now-oh hello baby face!
I’m also so nostalgic of my freshman fitness level. #rowing Seriously guys, I was so fit. With my new plan to do less high impact exercise, I’m hoping to build my fitness by hopping on the erg again. I always miss my old workouts!
I have been at school for 3 weeks and I still find cat fur on all my clothes.
I can’t believe I’m a senior in college. I know I keep saying that, but where the heck did the time go? I feel like it was yesterday that I was that easier baby-faced freshman. I’m determined to make the most out of the year and out of the future.
I’m so happy I dropped a class. I finally feel like I have time to devote myself fully to my other classes, and with the super full schedules I’ve had in the past, I haven’t always felt I’ve been able to.

What are you thinking today?