Yesterday, when I was finding a link for the post, I found myself reading some posts from this time last year.
WHEW.
It was an interesting experience. And it’s amazing how much I’ve changed since then-in terms of who am I am, why I do, my writing style, and what I talk about. (Here’s a random post from a year ago.)
Year-Ago-Aurora? You’re freaking crazy. Calm down! I guess that’s part of being a freshman, and the freedom I felt last spring with very few obligations after rowing ended. The first few weeks of spring quarter last year were insane. I had just been stuck at home for months with mono, and all of the sudden I had a ton of free time and catching up with friends to do. I got into some bizarre and unhealthy habits-like not sleeping and eating insane amounts of yogurt. I mean, I love yogurt still-and the old pictures made me crave some of those awesome yogurt bowls-but I was definitely not in the healthiest place. My hormones were all crazy from being sick, and the late nights led to this crazy night time snacking problem-I mean, the snacks were mostly yogurt bowls, but en masse. I think I gained the Freshman 15 in like 3 weeks? From yogurt alone?
What really makes me cringe is all the “food revelations.” No Aurora, you do not have a grain sensitivity. You feel like awful because you’re eating junk and not sleeping…I mean, a lot of those posts are so embarrassing to look back on. But I’ve definitely come so far as a person-in healthy habits, in ways of thinking, in the things I chose to publish on the great Internet.
I also don’t know how I had so much freaking time then! Now I feel like I’m always busy! I guess there was the whole ‘not sleeping’ thing that added several hours to the day…and the fact that classes are so much more work sophomore year!
I also made a lot of broad proclamations, which I’m not really comfortable doing anymore. Like “I won’t eat grains anymore,” or “I’m going Paleo.” Now, I guess I feel silly saying those things. Because I think I got to the point where it was something different each day. I think I was desperately looking for a solution to my out of control eating habits. (Past-Aurora: sleep probably would have helped.)
I feel so much more secure in myself now. I’m not a freshman-I don’t have to worry about having friends and what people think of me in the same way. I have amazing friends-and maybe because I surround myself with the right people, I don’t really have to worry what anyone thinks of me. (Or is this just laziness? TBD…) I have zero problems sitting in my room by myself on a Friday night watching Netflix. Not that I spend my life with Netflix, but I don’t feel like I need to try to be social when all I want to do is relax and sleep. I remember fall of my freshman year, I went to bed pretty early (comparatively to the rest of the freshman in my dorm), and I would always hear people talking and partying, and I was stressed that I was missing out on meeting people. Now, I know that I don’t have to worry about that. I guess this is what maturity does to you, huh?
What’s crazy to me is that I felt so grown up at the time, and while I was writing those posts. And like I said, I look back on them and cringe. Calm down Aurora! You’re crazy!
Do you ever go back and read your old posts? What do you think?
I always get embarrassed at myself when I go back and read old posts! However, that’s what is great about blogging is it documents our journey. We can look back and see where we were and look at how far we’ve come since then. I’ve definitely matured a lot and what I blog about has changed some too!
I like to read the old messages in the blog! I did any not nice photos, wrote something incoherent 😀 It is very ridiculous and I am proud of that, in what my blog now turned! Though… there is no limit to perfection 😉
Haha Siggi’s is da best!