Coming Full Circle

Date: October 23, 2015

Author: astottler

This weekend is bittersweet for me. It’s Homecoming weekend, which means campus is flooded with alums. But this year is different for me. In a year, I’ll be one of them.

For many years, I’ve had my list of top fears well-defined.

Puke
Drowning
Scorpions
Hair

My roommate even knows the pitch of my squeal when I see a ball of hair on the floor. Those were my fears. Now, I’m coming to terms with a new fear-the passage of time. I fear the passage of time-or more specifically, wasted time. Seeing alums wheeling into their 50th reunion makes age more solidified for me-that’s me one day. Many of these alums seem so happy-they show up carting around children and spouses, pointing out their old stomping stomping grounds. Will I have that one day? Right now the future is just an empty space for me-I have plans but I have no idea what my life will really be like. Will I be happy? I feel so happy here right now. I feel like Stanford is truly the best place to be. What will the future hold?

More than the passage of time, I fear the loss of friends. Of stories and memories fading away as the clock ticks onwards. We relive the past through our stories. We relive happiness, excitement, fear. I love telling stories, and I love recalling memories. Stories are a snapshot of a particular time; they are our time capsules to the past, and they keep us connected to who we are and who we were. Even more than telling stories, I love making stories. Having adventures that I can talk and laugh about years from now. Sometimes I worry that I’m too caught up in the past, but in reality, this is my way of staying connected and grounded as things change. In one year, my life is going to be completely different than it’s ever been. Saying goodbye before college was hard, but I think saying goodbye after college is worse. It’s not that I’m not excited for what the future has in store, but in high school, I feel like I was constantly biding my time for high school. Now, I’m realizing I can’t keep just trying to push through until I’ve accomplished my career goals to live. Time passes. If I fast forward my life to post-grad school, then all I do is lose years. I have to live NOW because there’s always going to be a next thing to look toward, and I can’t keep waiting until the next thing because before I know it I’ll be rolling up to my 50th reunion and wondering where the years have gone.

I’m doing my best to enjoy my last year here to the utmost degree. At the same time, I feel like everything is coming full circle. Things, people, and feelings from freshman year keep popping up. As a freshman, I never once thought the whole college thing would end. I was just getting started! 4 years was forever. Yet here I am.

(Santa Run 2012-what a baby! I wish I had taken more pictures then…)

Looking back on it, I could not have asked for more out of my freshman year. At the time it was difficult-sleep deprivation, intense academics, D1 college sport, making new friends, mono. I came in with such an eagerness to be there that I feel like faded as I got beaten down. But out of freshman year, I got countless memories and lifelong friends. As I said, it was hard at the time but looking back, it was exactly what I needed.

Sophomore year was very rough. I learned the hard way what it meant to be doing a difficult major at one of the top science schools in the country. I did not like it here then. I was drowning. I seriously contemplated whether I should transfer. I was lost-I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t know if I was in the right place. But as I’ve always said, the best part about Stanford is the people, and my friends carried me through.

Despite the difficult academics, I did make some awesome memories that I will carry with me. I also felt more grounded than freshman year. I had a solid group of friends so I didn’t have the constant pressure of trying to make friends that comes with freshman year.

Junior year was good-a solid year but somewhat lonely as a lot of people I knew went abroad. I spent more time alone, but I think I found myself a little more, especially with figuring out my life. Far fewer quarter-life crises.

Halloween 2014 was possibly one of the best days of my life.

And now. Senior year. I feel like there’s so much left to do, and I have the eagerness of a freshman. I can’t wait to make more memories with these amazing people.

Not According to Plan

Date: October 21, 2015

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

Hello! My brain kind of feels like it’s melted today. It’s midterm week, and I swear doing 200m sprints just takes a lot out of my brain. That’s weird, isn’t it? Anyways, the point is that I feel like I’m making no sense right now but I thought I’d share some things.

Last weekend I found a cat. I was eating outside the house with some friends and it walked right up. I THINK I’ve seen it a couple of times before. It walked right up to the kitchen window. I naturally let it in the door and fed it some leftover trout from a meal earlier in the week. <3

Currently eating this breakfast-apple, cottage cheese, sun butter. It feels like fall! The weather here is…weird. It’s been hot. The leaves are FINALLY changing, so I’ve been itching to get outside and run! I can tell it’s fall, but like I said, it’s weird. Today it was SO COLD (by CA standards) this morning, and then it was like 80.

Last week I woke up at the $%&&%$% of dawn to go to a spin class near home because the class is awesome and my purchase of a class was about to expire. Green smoothie to recover. Class was awesome as expected, and it was still dark when I got out

Indian food last week. It was mediocre but the gluten free naan was AWESOME.

Pulled chicken and veggie sliders on a very dry GF bun. The insides were at least good!

FOOTBALL. I finally made it to a game. We crushed UCLA (YAY) and I had an awesome view (form the end zone) of the most epic catch ever. Google “Stanford the catch” because it was insane. So nice to be out there!

So I lost my phone briefly. I had it at my softball game but sometime from my car to the dugout it disappeared. Long story short, I spent forever looking for it driving all around creation, and it turned out it took an extra set of eyes to find it. I honestly don’t think I ever would have found it. It was in a bag in my car-hidden under a flap. As a result, I got a visit from the pup! She’s getting so big!

You can’t see super well from these photos but the other week I got these long sleeved shirts that I am OBSESSED with. I got them in 4 colors and now I also really want a deep red one.

Awesome lunch-Mexican food made into a salad. The guac was on point.

Whole Foods dinner post-Crossfit. I wanted something on the lighter side with plenty of veggies. I was going to miss dinner, and since we’re currently trying out new chefs, there has not been enough food lately so I knew there would be nothing left. Plus, I picked up lunch for today!

I finally found a salad bar combo that I like! I feel like I’m always the worst at making my own salads. Chicken, grapes, bleu cheese, balsamic. Don’t knock it til you try it! Plus Mary’s crackers.

Finally-I had an interesting spin class today. This is my first time with major technical difficulties. I’ve had the mic die, but this was worse. I was using a playlist I taught last spring to at my other gym, and the choreography was complicated and pretty specific to the songs. Then on the 3rd song my playlist skipped to the 2nd to last song and I couldn’t get it to go back. I was using my Schwinn app, so I switched to iTunes on my phone. That malfunctioned as well! I chose a random playlist and taught a song from it while realizing that a random playlist would never work with the class I had drawn up. While cuing, I scrambled around and found the playlist on my iPod. Thankfully, I had it right there because I use it to play music as people walk in since I have to check them in on my phone. And thankfully, the playlist was on my iPod and it worked! I haven’t been putting them on my iPod that much since I started using my app so it was so lucky! My back up to my back up saved the day!

WHEW. I think it’s about time I go back to studying.

Nike Women’s Half Round 2

Date: October 18, 2015

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

Hello! Guess what I did this morning? I ran a half marathon! WOOHOO!

This was my second time running the race. See my recap from a couple of years ago here. I didn’t LOVE it last time-quite honestly I felt it was overhyped. I decided to do it again this year though because I get automatic entry as a student, so this may be my last chance! #senior

A major change from when I did it 2 years ago was the route. They changed it up quite a bit, and I think the hills were a lot friendlier this way. Plus, last time I ran it I was trying to PR and this time I was trying to enjoy it, so that also helps!

I had zero expectations going into the race. I was still sick a fair amount of my training. I was too sick for my 11 miler. I didn’t want to push the pace too much also because I didn’t want to launch myself into a flare. The super good news is that it’s been over 3 weeks without a flare-the longest since I got sick many many months ago. I think there’s a good chance it’s gluten intolerance because I’ve been SUPER strict about avoiding it. Anyways, onto the race!

Since I needed to pick up my packet on Saturday, my parents and I headed up to the city Saturday afternoon. I found my name on the window!

We picked up my packet and visited some of the expo. I didn’t love the way the expo was set up-it was spread out through several different stores in Union Square.

We ended up coming across a food court in Macy’s (which I had no clue existed) and decided to eat dinner while watching the Cubs-Mets game on the TV there. I’ve missed almost all of post-season baseball this year! For dinner, we had Asian Box. I had a bowl with brown rice, Asian salad, pickled veggies, chicken, and a seasoning blend.

It was good to get some veggies and carbs in pre-race!

There was also a Ben and Jerry’s, and I got a small scoop of pretty much the only ice cream I could eat-triple chunk caramel.

We spent the evening watching TV, and I was in bed by 10:30.

The next morning, I was up bright and early! I actually felt pretty good. I think in some of my past halfs, I’ve woken up and was just not feeling a run. I think I was much better rested this time around! My current pre-long run breakfast is a Luna bar (Lemon Zest today) and a big banana. Then, it was time to run out the door!

I was armed with sleeves made from cut up tube socks, but unlike 2 years ago, it wasn’t too chilly!

I had a friend running the race today as well, and we planned to try and meet up if possible. We actually ended up finding each other at the start!

We started out pretty slow-there was quite the bottleneck at the start, and I also wasn’t willing to push the pace. I ran music-less the first half of the race, and we somewhat chatted, and enjoyed the views of the city!

I took my first gu around mile 6. I’ve ALWAYS used Cliff chocolate gu, but I currently have zero tolerance for caffeine, and the chocolate gu has been negatively affection gem lately, so I switched to raspberry for race day (which I had tried all of once before…) and it worked like a charm!

According to the elevation chart, there were 3 main hills. Honestly, it felt like a lot of up and down for the first 2/3, so I’m not sure which hills were specifically defined. The notable hill was the hill overlooking the Golden Gate, which came at mile 10. Thankfully, this led into a huge downhill and with the downhill, I didn’t lose much time on the hill.

One thing I have to give to Nike is the fact that this race ends flat-nothing worse than a hill in the death miles of a race!

One thing I will say-the last 2 halfs I’ve done, I never hit that mile 10 wall when my legs just won’t move, and I think this is a big function of going slower. When I make my next PR attempt, I need to keep better pacing in mind because dying at the end=lost time!

Before I knew it, I was on the final stretch, running towards the crowds and the marina.

And then it was over! I set a loose goal for myself in the middle of the race and I met it, which is good enough my me! It was my slowest half to date, but it was only 3 minutes slower than my previous slowest. That included a bathroom stop, so without that, it was probably only about 1 minute slower. I’ve run 6 halfs, and I’m nothing if not consistent on my times!

It ended up being such a beautiful morning! Couldn’t ask for anything better weather wise-plus it’s FINALLY starting to feel like fall around here!

I should probably also note that I ran with my flip belt. Given my illness issues, I carried all kinds of food-crackers, granola bar, gu. Gotta be prepared!

One thing I will note though-my watch clocked me in at 13.5 miles. I know you gain some distance with weaving, but there’s not way I gained .4, so I definitely think that course was long!

Overall, definitely a fun morning. Nothing is really hurting right now so I’m expecting recovery to go well! That, and I’ve eaten everything in sight today, which usually helps as well!

Have you ever run the Nike Half?

Vet Stuff

Date: October 11, 2015

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend! I spent the weekend in Davis at a pre-health conference, although I stayed on the pre-vet side!

Overall, the conference was awesome. I learned some, but was also reassured about how much I’ve learned about this kind of thing in the past year. Let’s back up, shall we?

Friday, I worked at the vet, as per usual with my schedule this quarter. It was a bit of a rough one, but my amazing mother surprised me with gluten free pumpkin bread with pumpkin cream cheese! Um, yes! AMAZING. I haven’t had real pumpkin bread this year-only banana pumpkin and it’s not exactly the same.

From there I headed to the local mall to pick up some things for my trip. The attire was professional/business casual, so I wanted to pick up some nicer jeans. I had a bit of a clothing dilemma-I needed business casual/sheep appropriate attire. #prevetlife On the way back from the mall, I stopped at Whole Foods for dinner and items for my trip.

Apple butternut squash soup-so good-plus avocado kale salad with feta.

Saturday morning, I was up bright and early (4:30) to make the drive over. The drive was…interesting. It was SO dark and foggy. I couldn’t see more than 10 feet in front of me in some places, which was surreal. It was dark, and in some places the only lights were my own cutting through the fog. Not the most relaxing drive to say the least! I arrived in Davis at the perfect time-just before the crowds to check in.

I went to the keynote addresses, and then to various workshops on vet school applications, livestock reproduction, animal nutrition, and mixed animal practices. Overall, they were very helpful. I was surprised by how much I’ve learned about the veterinary field, animal physiology, and the vet school process in the past year. I wish I had gone last year when I knew nothing!

After a full day of conferencing, I went in search of dinner and ended up at the downtown Davis Whole Foods. I actually ran into someone from high school there! Dinner was fantastic-I actually managed to make a good salad bar salad. In the salad was lettuce, grapes, bleu cheese, and balsamic. Sometimes it is best to keep things simple. Plus, I got some rice and roasted carrots and the star of the meal-a black bean and cheese tamale. YUM.

The conference was nice enough to provide housing for just $14 to attendees, so I had the chance to talk with some other people there that I roomed with that night. After some homework, I turned in for an early night.

I was up bright and early the next morning. I wanted a cappuccino and knew the Stackbucks on campus would be packed, so I Googled mapped one on the way. Right before I turned onto the street, I spotted another awesome looking coffeeshop and decided to give it a try instead-SUCH a good decision. Check this out!

Sidenote-downtown Davis is adorable. I also saw a pub that during “puppy hour” gives you discounted drinks if you bring your dog-how awesome is that?

Also-I nailed it with the Starbucks prediction on campus-check out this insane line:

My main event today was a sheep handling workshop. As you probably know by now, I’m obsessed with ruminants. In the workshop, we got to learn how to give sheep a basic exam, trimmed their hooves, and practiced moving them. Experiences like this make me think I might like to go into large animal medicine-everything about ruminant physiology is just so fascinating to me!

After the workshop, I made the trek back to campus. Overall, it was a good (albeit tiring) weekend!

This Day 2 Years Ago

Date: October 9, 2015

Author: astottler

Categories: Uncategorized

After speaking yesterday about living in the past, I thought today I’d throw it back to 2 years ago-October 9. What was I up to?

Hey guys! It’s currently 9pm, and I’m camped out in the lounge blogging because my roommate is sleeping. I’m not sure if she’s asleep for the night or just napping, but I thought I’d give her some peace and quiet. I’m currently trying to burn off a sugar high-and if you know me at all, this likely means I won’t be sleeping for the next 3 days. Me+sugar=bad combo.

But let’s start from the top, shall we?

I woke up bright (well, dark) and early for a morning gym workout. The workout was 10 minutes working on snatches, followed by a WOD of 21-15-9-9-15 deadlifts and squat jumps. The workout originally called for burpees, but that would have taken me much more time than I had. The bar was SO ROUGH. My poor hands were getting torn up so badly! I looked around-and there’s only one bar out of like 8 like that at the gym, but they were all full. I then did 5 rounds of 250m row/7 rdls, and finished with some abs. This workout was nothing too crazy-just something to get my blood flowing!

When I walked out of the gym, I was greeted by this:

The weather is starting cool down a little too-it’s sunny but with fall skies and a little bit of bite in the air. I had a long day ahead of me, and it was chilly, so on the way back to the gym, I stopped for a cappuccino.

BEST. THING. EVER. So worth the extra trip-and I went before getting ready instead of on my way to class, so there was no line.

I seriously love this weather-Sweater Weather! Do you guys know the song Sweater Weather? I think that’s going to be stuck in my head any time I wear a sweater. What I wore today was basically the epitome of fall-boots, a sweater, and a scarf.

I’ve been feeling so put together lately in terms of my outfits (ok, technically I’m still wearing leggings…), and I really do think it makes a difference on my outlook of the world. Here’s a sunny selfie of yesterday’s scarf.

Yes, I live in California. Yes, 70 degrees is considered cold.

Today was just such a productive day, and I feel so much better about my classes. I love Mondays and Wednesdays because I have all afternoon to hole up in a library or cafe and just accomplish things. I actually am not minding problem sets-minus Physics. I don’t mind spending hours working things out-as long as I eventually get it. I’ve said it before, but this is really something I was missing last year.

After class, I tried this new to me yogurt.

I saw it on Beth‘s blog a while ago, and have not been able to find it anywhere! Needless to say, I was super excited.

It was delicious! I ended up throwing a couple of dates I had packed for snack on top, and those really complemented the flavors perfectly. Next time, I would throw chopped dates on top.

Here’s a shot of the cafe. Kind of a basement, but cozy and quiet. Several study snacks happened as well.

Like my placemat? I really need to stop eating ON my school things.

Pumpkin bread. Because we know I’m obsessed.

After finished most of my work, I headed back to my room for a run. Since it was in danger of getting dark, I threw on the only long sleeve neon shirt I had. Is it too soon? I don’t think so.

So I set out for 4 miles-I was really in the mood to run. The weather was perfect, I was feeling great…until like .2 miles in when my calf reminded me that I did 600 jump ropes yesterday…and doing that many after not jumping rope in a month will make me sore. I immediately turned back-with my history of calf issues, I was NOT going to push anything this close to the race. So not worth it. I switched gears and went to dinner instead-not a bad alternative!

A really delicious turkey burger, salad, polenta, and fruit. I love turkey burgers. I should seriously just get 2 turkey burgers and veggies and call it a day-and not mess around with the other suspect items.

Paella-it tasted really fishy, so not really my cup of tea. Oh well, can’t win them all.

Then, tonight I had a sorority recruitment event-cookie decorating. Hence the sugar high. It’s the worst kind too-store bought cookies and store bought icing=my body hates me. Eh, live and learn. Here’s my first creation. Not my best work.

And now let’s talk running. Let’s talk races. Let’s talk about the future. I (obviously) have my next half in ELEVEN DAYS. I am SO incredibly excited-and I feel strangely prepared. It helps I’m not injured (knock on wood) right before the race…But being the overeager person that I am, I’m starting to think about what comes next. Life after half marathon training? Huh? First off-I know if I’m not training for a race I’ll never run. It just won’t occur to me. I’m doing a 10k Turkey Trot in November (obviously), and then I’m doing a Santa Run in mid December. This one is a 5k, and I’m racing it to PR. To be fair, I’ve only done one 5k (last year’s Santa Run). And I hadn’t run in a long time-I was in really good shape from rowing, but there wasn’t a ton of running happening. After my half, I’ll be focusing a ton on running fast. I obviously want to PR, but I THINK if I work hard between now and then, I can break 24:00. We shall see.

So…then what? I want to do the Giant’s race….in August. Maybe the Nike women’s again if I like it. But before then? There’s an abyss! BUT. BUT. I think I found a race-and I’m this close to signing up. Rock n Roll San Francisco on April 6. It should be a fun one-it goes across the Golden Gate bridge! I think it would be a good warm up for the Giant’s race, which is a much flatter course and therefore a better one to run hard for a PR. The timing is pretty good too. So…thoughts? GAHH I’m so excited about everything right now!

It’s almost race day!

What’s the best race you’ve done? Suggestions? Favorite part of fall?