Hey guys! It’s currently Friday night at 1am, but I can’t sleep because my room is 1000 degrees and I have ice cream running through my veins (not a decision I regret though). I’m sitting outside (much cooler) watching drunk people slowly trickle back from one of the wilder parties of the year. I wasn’t feeling it-I spent my night with my only friends I need:



Kidding. All jokes aside though, I’ve never actually had Ben and Jerry’s, so my roommate and I decided to fix that! But today’s recap is for another post. I have a slightly more serious (how serious am I ever? Let’s be real here) post for tonight. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting. I guess this past month or so I’ve been feeling a bit of blogging identity crisis. What’s the point of what I’m posting? Is it interesting? Deceptive? (I hope not). Who am I writing to? Who am I trying to please?

In this post, I’m going to attempt to piece my thoughts together in a way that makes sense, as much as possible.

Tonight, I spent some time reading through some really old posts from another blogger-one that inspired me to blog wayyy back when.

Additionally, my blogging was slacking for a bit there, thanks to my so-called food rut.

I guess here’s what it comes down to. When I’m eating junk and feeling bad, it’s hard for me to be passionate about the things I care about and love and find SO incredibly interesting-nutrition, metabolism, etc. It’s something I truly am passionate about, but when I’m not following my own advice, it’s hard to find that spark.

I feel like my blog has really more fallen into what I tend to call it, a food and fitness blog, versus a healthy living blog. This isn’t inherently a bad thing, but it ends up turning into lazy posts where I throw up pictures of my food and say “This is what I ate.” Don’t get me wrong, this is fantastic for me to look back on. But what value is in that content? A lot of what I’ve been eating hasn’t been particularly healthy, so who am I hoping to inspire?

On the other hand, I find myself not talking about my exercise and fitness-just brushing it off. Even though, as a food and FITNESS blog, this could be a big thing. And it’s a big part of who I am that gets neglected quite a bit! But here’s where I run into trouble-and as I’ll probably elaborate on in a minute, maybe the source of my blog rut-I’ve been worrying too much about what people will think. Will they say I’m exercising too much? But here’s the thing. Everyone is different. My exercise routine is balanced, and I look forward to most of my workouts. Crossfit is fun. I pick and choose the workouts I go to based on what I would find the most fun. If it wasn’t fun, I wouldn’t go. Also, I’ve been an athlete my whole life. I’m in good shape. But I tend to be self conscious about the fact that I usually run in the morning, and then do Crossfit in the evening. So I don’t discuss these things. But I really should! It shouldn’t bother me what people think because I know what works for me. I love running, and training for races, and I love Cross-training. So be it.



And onto the topic of caring what others think…I’ve ALWAYS wanted Fitness is Sweet to be a positive place. I don’t want to be negative in my posts. And there’s one topic I absolutely hate talking about, but I’m going to talk about today. This is a weird one though-I’m not worried so much as to what others will think, but rather what future me will think. I cringe at all those past-Aurora posts freaking out over this or that, and all those random “a-ha” moments (OMG I need to eat Paleo! OMG I need to avoid gluten! UGH.)

So this post is probably not one I’m going to look back and love, but it is what it is. Because the one topic I HATE talking about is weight. But hey, why not talk about it then?

I’m in college. It’s spring quarter. Nutrition seems to once again have gone by the wayside. So here I am, up a few pounds. And running SLOW (priorities, right?). And as much as I HATE discussing this, here we are. Because as much as I preach a healthy lifestyle, I never really did figure it out. I never returned to my pre-college weight, which drives me crazy, and I never returned to my pre-college eating. I’m active, which is fantastic, but my eating habits clearly leave a bit to be desired. Sure, I eat my vegetables, but a lot of sweets and snacks never make it to the blog. I guess I’m at a crossroads because I’m ready to really dig into this issue, but not too sure where to start because after all this time I’m still not there!



I feel like the extra pounds are really holding me back, in terms of my confidence and my athletic capabilities-I really want to PR my half this fall!

This past week, I’ve been trying to focus on staying calm and mindful, which helps but is still hard to stick with!

And at the same time I want to make myself healthier, I also want to have healthier content. I want to show delicious, nutritious meals, not just thrown together pictures of froyo and muffins.

However, I firmly believe that a negative attitude and negative relationship with food is never going to help with weight loss, so there is going to be none of that here. Which is why I have zero regrets about that Ben and Jerry’s-it was delicious! And it’s over, and I don’t regret it. I don’t plan on eating it every night forever, but it is what it is.

So I guess the summary of this long and super rambling post is that I’m going to take better care of my health and also work on improving my blog content-but I also think the two go hand in hand!

So if you made it this far, thank you! I know this post will probably make me cringe later, but I also think it is important. As bloggers, it’s easy to paint a healthy glow on everything, but we’re not always as healthy as we make ourselves seem to be! That’s very important to remember!

What makes you uncomfortable?

5 comments on “At a Crossroads

  1. A college grad

    I went to the same college as you do (I graduated in oh-12) and struggled with a lot of the same issues. It is impossible for me to maintain the weight I wanted when eating in a dining hall (and the constant food and parties don’t help!) I just wanted to let you know that it gets easier–I’m now in graduate school in my own apartment, and the weight I gained in college came off easily (I’m actually down almost 40 pounds since high school!)

    I wish I had taken advantage of running more when I was in CA. Here, it’s either too cold or too hot to run outside 90% of the year, and even when I can there’s nowhere I can run other than in circles around my neighborhood. I’ve become a fan of the bikes at the gym and bodypump classes, since they’re the only things that keep me entertained! As long as you’re truly having fun, there’s nothing wrong with working out as you did. If you have doubts, there’s a free nutritionist available to students, who was really helpful for me.

    I really look forward to reading your blog–it lets me relive a little bit of the campus life that I miss.

    1. astottler Post author

      Thank you for your comment! This definitely makes me feel better! It’s very difficult to stay healthy when surrounded by college students and free food EVERYWHERE! I’m hoping to really hone in on some better habits this summer when I’m on my own!

  2. Julia

    I’ve never commented on your blog, but I faithfully come back to it and read it everyday. As another college student (I’m a rising junior), I totally understand how you’re feeling. I eat my veggies too, but sometimes I just can’t say no to sweets, especially during that time of the month, or after a long study session, or because I’m feeling happy.
    Please don’t stop blogging. Use this as way to be completely honest with yourself and your readers, and as a way to hold yourself accountable for whatever lifestyle choices (good or bad) you’ve been making.
    I’ve struggled with the same thoughts that you’ve had “OK, I need to eat paleo. Ok, I need to cut out wheat and gluten” as an effort to try and lose a few pounds, losing sight of the fact that I wasn’t necessarily doing it for the right reasons (for the health benefits and the positive things it may do to your body feeling wise, not necessarily image-wise).
    Don’t worry about blogging to please people. That’s a dangerous road to go down and you’ll soon find yourself dissatisfied with your decisions. Blog with an honest and positive conviction, and you’ll keep the loyal followers that you have!

    1. astottler Post author

      Thank you so much for your comment! It really means a lot to me! I don’t plan on stopping blogging, but this whole weight issue is something I want to tackle positively and honestly. It’s not something I like blogging about, but it’s definitely a reality of life. Thank you again for your comment!

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